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Excerpts taken from the diary of a broken soul
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 Posted: Sat Mar 28th, 2009 12:48 am
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rylla
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Ash, I know I'm repeating myself but your work is exquisite and beautiful and unique and one in a million! So happy you are using your talent to make a tarot deck! (having you on our side! :D) You make the tarot world richer!!!

always a big fun of your art,


rylla


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 Posted: Tue Apr 14th, 2009 03:47 pm
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shadow
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rylla... :ttand I mean it in a kosher kind of way :bl

 

******************************************************

To the highlands I went... twice! Home of Kalista Blackhair. Did not see her there, our business is indeed finished. :xA good journey I wish her; may our paths never cross again..

:mThere in the highlands, I think I found a clue in the house of falling cards. In the shadow of the Shadow-kin, I may find my answers but the path is not meant for everyone. I prefer the poisoned kiss of The Beetle King than nothing at all. And my sister who saw the shadow of the Kings hovering behind me thought it was I who sought them out. Perhaps I did. Perhaps the Kings desired an artist to give them their faces... perhaps we all find what we were meant to be when destiny comes knocking. :cEnough of my rambling... I completed the 6 of Swords. 

 

6 of Swords

Come walk with me and cross the bridge; fear not the water if you have your wits about you. Here... take your time and plan your next move; do not rush least the currents carry you away.

Better to finish the race than not at all; sometimes winning isn't everything. Most of all, keep faith that all things happen when its supposed to and not before.  :hp

 

Ash

Attachment: 6 of Swords1.jpg (Downloaded 300 times)

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 Posted: Wed Apr 15th, 2009 12:04 am
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shadowdancer
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fantastic.  I love the way you have the hooded person in control of when, how and the timing of their crossing. 

Get it wrong, or rush things and it will be a case of "two steps forward, and a little more than a case of 2 steps backwards".

You know I am looking forward to seeing this finished in its entirity  :)

Davina

 

 

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 Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 04:53 pm
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shadow
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shadowdancer wrote: fantastic.  I love the way you have the hooded person in control of when, how and the timing of their crossing. 

Get it wrong, or rush things and it will be a case of "two steps forward, and a little more than a case of 2 steps backwards".

You know I am looking forward to seeing this finished in its entirity  :)

Davina

 

 


:D Months ago I thought the same as well.. now nearing the end, I find that I don't want to leave this place, which brings me to a crossroad...:f

Btw, glad you like this card. I actually had a real-life experience / lesson with the 6 of Swords literally while I was drawing it :gi . Amazing how the Universe works.

*************************************************************

9 of Cups

I never did get the message of the 9 Cups. I mean.. what does an over prosperous merchant hoarding all those cups have to do with a wish card? I never quite got that one. So this is what I did... I drew my wish card.

Do you believe in ghosts I wonder? Let's take this as the raving of a mad person and indulge me this once...

The Night Flower saw two shadows hovering behind me when I went for a walk with her. The first time, she was unsure for she thought she imagined them but the second time... she said she saw them clearly. All this while, I thought it was just fanciful imagination... my Jahanamians, I mean. I speak to them because I see them but noone else could. Just hours before, I had called upon Samiri and Lytta.. the warriors of fire and air to ensure a safe journey up the mountain and apparently.. they did :hp

The Night Flower thought they meant me harm and sternly told them to go away for she is a firm believer in good and evil; and anything that doesn't wear fluffy white wings fall under the "evil" category....:? that is according to her. While I appreciate the gesture, I think she offended my "friends".

To cut the story short, I heard that she too has been plagued by a wraithful spirit. One that has been haunting her for a while now. Like her, I am only looking out for my sister.

Protection for the Night Flower and peace for the entity. I learned that in Jahanam; one does not ask for selfish favours so let this be a wish for the One Who Listens To The Cries of the World to grant solace to whoever asks for it. I ask it for the Night Flower; and for the spirit to find rest wherever it is.



Ash

Attachment: 9 of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 291 times)

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 Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 07:34 pm
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truelighth
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I am in awe. Absolutely beautiful!!!

And the message is clear too. The card has such a serene look to it too. Absolutely lovely! :ok

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 Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 10:01 pm
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rylla
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Oh, my! this is amazing!

rylla

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 Posted: Fri May 8th, 2009 04:24 am
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shadow
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Yeah.. I thought she was kind of pretty too in a non-scary kind of way. So out of character in a place creeping with scary lookin' people. :gi

************************************************************

8 of Cups

In search of solice I went back to the highlands. It was there that I found the house of cards.

Inside this house is a garden and burning cards fell from the sky like snow flakes glowing amber in the dark. So many entities in exile; cast out of paradise over a prank that went out of control.

I met someone who saw what I cannot see and she spoke to me about the Shadow-kin. She said she saw them hovering behind me; trying in vain to speak without voices.... But I all I could hear was the wind singing a haunting song of lamentation.

 

Ash

Attachment: 8 of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 275 times)

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 Posted: Fri May 8th, 2009 09:56 am
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truelighth
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Love this card! I like the way the cups seem like lights guiding you up the stairs. And the trees are so real, so life like!

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 Posted: Fri May 8th, 2009 10:47 pm
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rylla
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beautiful, beautiful!

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 Posted: Sat May 9th, 2009 08:19 pm
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shadow
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truelighth wrote: Love this card! I like the way the cups seem like lights guiding you up the stairs. And the trees are so real, so life like!
Well, this is as good a time as any to confess I guess. The reason the trees look real is because this really is a pathway leading up to a temple in China. I didn't really go there, I use a lot of pictures from flickr for references. I did go to a mountain but its in Malaysia.:bl

Same with the kittens in 4 of Cups... they're not even from the same reserve. One is a Bengal Tiger from India and the other a white Siberian. Neck down, the fighter is Tony Jaa but because Mr. Jaa's face is easily recognisable, I changed it.

:ccDon't want no werewolves in pin-stripe suits knocking on my door sueing me for copyrights so I tweak the pictures a lot when I draw them.. to give it an other-wordly feel like how people in flickr enhance their photos with color and photoshop.

rylla wrote:
beautiful, beautiful!
Notice the water and earth suit seems less scary compared to the fire and air?Almost like the physical realm entices the traveller so we want to stay longer. Just an observation....

Ash




 

Last edited on Sat May 9th, 2009 08:50 pm by shadow

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 Posted: Sat May 9th, 2009 08:48 pm
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shadow
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Ace of Swords

I had hoped that Lytta would take up his Regency before the door closes in the Sword suit but he is nowhere to be found. I thought he was not ready for the responsibility yet. But I was wrong.

“Every journey has a secret destination of which the traveler is unaware.” -MARTIN BUBER

Well then, it seems almost ironic that the Ace of Swords would be the final Sword card to be featured in The Diary... an end that hails a new beginning I suppose. Sometimes, its like watching a movie backwards in this place; the 6 of Swords shows how my visions appear; in random... falling from all directions.

From the Ace of Swords I gather that is what the air suit is all about... intangible, abstract, spirit matter But I was wrong.

“Most people think that we live in the actual world while we are alive, and that after we take the last breath we somehow wander into a vague realm of the spirit. It is a great mistake to see two separate realms. Instead, where we live is in fact the spiritual realm, a realm of many billion worlds, which goes beyond three, four, or even infinite dimensions. Then the danger is that we might think that this is a realm that is empty and boundless. Watch out!! It's all manifested right here at this moment. It is alive and kicking!” -SOEN NAKAGAWA

My Ace of Swords shows how its like tittering between reality and imagination. But in this I think I am not wrong.

“Art does not reproduce the invisible; rather it makes it visible.”
-
Paul Klee

Attachment: Ace of Swords1.jpg (Downloaded 261 times)

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 Posted: Fri May 15th, 2009 01:31 am
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Strange2
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Oh my.......  this is one of the most breathtaking Ace of Swords ever!

Thank you, Ash, for sharing your visions of the in/visible.

 

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 Posted: Fri May 15th, 2009 03:17 am
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rylla
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Strange2 wrote: Oh my.......  this is one of the most breathtaking Ace of Swords ever!

Thank you, Ash, for sharing your visions of the in/visible.

 

I share your view, it's amazing!

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 Posted: Wed May 20th, 2009 01:32 pm
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shadow
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....you guys... thank you. :kt

 

:tt

Ash

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 Posted: Wed May 20th, 2009 02:15 pm
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shadow
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This picture was completed days ago, I had no intention of putting it here for I had reserved another image to share in this forum but something happened this morning that troubled me greatly.

Someone whom I suspect harbours questionable intent has been asking to meet. Feeling reluctant; after delaying for weeks, I finally worked up the courage to decline the request.

This morning I received a call from the person's mother threatening me with the police. To say the caller was rude would be a gross understatement. When it was her daughter who has been bugging me; I was accused of harrassing her daughter. The nerve!!!

Needless to say, my day has been ruined by someone who hasn't learned to take NO for an answer. How malicious can a person get I wonder; how far does a person go to avenge a perceived slight?

Aldous Huxley:

At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols.
:ccMr. Huxley... I CONCUR. So, Dear God, please save me from all the above. Amen.

 

Ash

 

Attachment: 5 of Pentacles1.jpg (Downloaded 242 times)

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 Posted: Thu May 21st, 2009 10:55 am
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truelighth
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Oh Ash, that is really not nice. Why do some people act that way and cause others problems, I will never understand. I wish you lots of strength and I hope the situation will play out without further problems for you.

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 Posted: Fri May 22nd, 2009 02:08 pm
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shadow
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truelighth wrote: Oh Ash, that is really not nice. Why do some people act that way and cause others problems, I will never understand. I wish you lots of strength and I hope the situation will play out without further problems for you.

:ttThank you, truelighth.

I hope so as well but just to be sure, I already made a report so hopefully, the entire family won't be calling again. That kinda creeped me out a little.

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 Posted: Fri May 22nd, 2009 03:21 pm
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shadow
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Page of Cups

The Page was completed but I didn't quite like the composition in the original Page of Cups card. It just felt off for some reason... and yes, its been bugging me for that long...:f

Tiger Lily. That's her name. Wandering through a maze of liquid gold in search of god knows what. Dreams are made up of little pieces of heaven torn from the heart. 

Do we know what we are looking for? To fill the void, to make us happy, to live happily ever after forever and ever. Beneath the moon lies the holy grail; and the soul thrives on such delight.   

    

 

Attachment: Page of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 228 times)

Last edited on Fri May 22nd, 2009 03:27 pm by shadow

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 Posted: Fri May 22nd, 2009 09:37 pm
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debra
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Your artistic skills and vision have developed so dramatically--I am astounded.

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 Posted: Mon May 25th, 2009 06:05 am
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ArlenedeWinter
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Hi,
I'm new here. I am so glad I came. This Tarot of a Broken Soul is amazing! i shall bookmark these pages so I can read the posts later. There seems to be quite a story behind this deck.
Thanks for sharing your process and the beautiful images.
Arlene deWinter
:kt

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 Posted: Mon May 25th, 2009 06:13 am
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ArlenedeWinter
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I cannot resist responding this though it is old news for you all by now.
I think when we are focused on creative work -- especially when it involves a magical tool such as tarot, there are inertial forces that will try to disrupt the work. Perhaps there is an existential envy out there, or some people intuit that there is something more important to someone else than social relations.  This seems deeply taboo to some folks.
I think this urge is quite primitive as well.
When I was painting my tarot deck for 4 and half years -- it is a big project -- you would not believe what I had to deal with. The energies that the cards access are real. The tarot images are portals into other worlds. When you drawn a 5 of wands you can get 5 of wands situations in your life  for example.
To embark on a Tarot that chronicles the Dark Night of the Soul is brave indeed. Ash, you are a true artist to dive in and bring back something of such beauty.
Thanks,
Arlene deWinter

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 Posted: Mon May 25th, 2009 07:05 pm
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goldenweb
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Truly amazing work Ash. Your imagination made visual is something wondrous to behold - never ever doubt your talents.

Pen 

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 Posted: Mon May 25th, 2009 09:49 pm
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Shalyn
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I would so buy this deck.

I love all the pictures so far.

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 Posted: Sat May 30th, 2009 02:46 pm
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shadow
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debra... :bl

I didn't know you were a visitor to Jahanam.... nevertheless, I am glad you've been around in Jahanam. My only regret is that I didn't know you were here earlier.

The process is still on-going; honing the skill I mean. For me the vizualisation process goes hand in hand with the development of my own artistic ability and its moving one piece at a time. Its the same for everyone I guess and it sure requires a lot of effort but nothing worth having comes easy, right?

I have been taking advice from other artists whose been kind enough to point me in the right direction... :ro

 

Arlene deWinter

A new arrival!! Welcome to the forum... :hp I think you will find this place most accommodating. I find myself agreeing with what you wrote. Its coming to 3 years for me now and strange things happen more frequently than before. Sometimes I wonder if I am slowly going mad or the world is :?.

78 cards is a daunting task. There are so many times when I look at the project and am so tempted to throw it over the cliff and watch it disappear in the abyss :Z. It would be my loss though for despite the downside, this journey has been enriching in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your experience, its comforting to know that I am not alone in this. Its like coming to a campfire and exchanging stories.

 

Pen

:ceI am ..... speechless. Coming from someone whose talent I greatly admire (and secretly envy)... thank you.:tt

 

Shalyn

To you I extend a warm welcome to the forum as well. I would so buy this deck myself :gi 

 

Ash

 

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 Posted: Sat May 30th, 2009 03:13 pm
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shadow
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King of Cups

Here we call him the Regent of the Water element.

See, each of the Warriors (Knights) have to go through a rites of passage before they are deemed worthy of taking up the Regency. They do not rule; they over-see the element.

But the history of Jahanam has been steeped in so much loss, pain and betrayal that each one of the Jahanamians must seek out their own redemption for the part they played in it. Perhaps one day, the story will be made known to all. I have had the priviledge of listening to each of the Knights tell their version of the tale.

2 warriors have claimed the Regency; 2 more lost in a world they helped build and destroy.

I saw a photo taken of a waterfall. A moment forever frozen in time. I saw the water break into a million drops of sparkling diamonds only to disappear forever into the churning waves below.

Did you know of all the Knights, it is the Harvester who is most shy? He doesn't come up often from the depths of the murky prison that once upon a time held his brother Lytta, when the hellish air-fiend stole Dajjal's eye. It was an asylum of sorts for the demented Knight of Swords but I digress.

As I stared at the photo, I saw the Harvester take shape; in the fluid flowing element that poisons itself when stagnated. He is a paradox, this one. We need water to sustain us and in that, he is a healer but often the force of this element leave us drowning in its wake.

I watched him disappear; a glimpse of the elusive King who did not speak a word. He merely showed his pain in the span of a heartbeat it took to take his picture; and just as quickly... he hid his grief beneath the crashing waves of a waterfall. 

Ash

 

Attachment: King of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 197 times)

Last edited on Mon Jun 1st, 2009 12:04 am by shadow

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 Posted: Sun May 31st, 2009 10:29 am
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truelighth
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Ash, I just commented on AT on this card. But I can't resist repeating myself here. Especially since you gave us even more info on how he showed himself. In a waterfall.. no wonder he looks so 'fluid' :ro. I like him a lot.. he is a total embodyment of the element of water, of the cups. A bit scary too and full of pain from the looks of it. Love it! :ok:ok:ok

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 Posted: Sun Jun 7th, 2009 01:50 pm
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Shalyn
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I see that Adam has a Majors Only deck for sale.  I, however, prefer to work with a full deck. :cl  No pun intended, of course.

Anyway, any ETA on when the full deck will be ready for publication?

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 Posted: Sun Jun 7th, 2009 05:10 pm
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shadow
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**truelighth**

:D The King of Water... tough exterior, all emotions. Glad you caught the vibes... I sat for hours staring at the screen to anchor his face. He was hard to capture. :gi

 

**Sharlyn**

There is a very real possibility this deck won't see the light of day. I've entertained the thought of self-publishing it if only to keep me motivated to get to the finish line.

7 cards to completion, its time to face the reality. I don't have the funds to self-publish the full deck. I will get a local printer to digitally print the imagess on sheets of cardstock so I can at least read with my own deck but to self-publish it and expect to make back the capital invested.... :gi... I can think of more important things that I can use the money for right now. I need a roof over my head more than anything else at the moment.

Maybe when the situation gets better.. who knows, eh?

:tt

Ash

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 Posted: Sun Jun 7th, 2009 05:35 pm
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shadow
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9 of Pentacles

Climb the highest peak and open the chest. It contains all your belongings gathered from this lifetime. Use the key Risk gave you... remember? The clown from the 2 of Pentacles. The one who offered the key and the eye... for the game we're playing. This game called Life. He said the gifts would come in handy, if only we knew how to use them and when.

Coming closer to the journey's end, I used the key from the 2 of Pentacles to open this chest; it contains all the booty I've looted from the land. I turned to the wise ones and asked, "What happened to all my belongings? Where did it go?" 

What comes from the Earth goes back to the Earth... ashes to ashes; dust to dust.

Winston Churchill:

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
 
Mohammed:

Our true wealth is the good we do in this world. None of us has faith unless we desire for our neighbors what we desire for ourselves.
:f Eerr... ok... :Zbut what happened to all my stuff??

 

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 Posted: Mon Jun 8th, 2009 06:48 am
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goldenweb
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Ash, yet another amazing image. Only three more to go? You really have climbed a mountain. And whatever happens (and who knows, the whole set may well be published one day), you've achieved something unique and wonderful.   

Pen  

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 Posted: Mon Jun 8th, 2009 02:15 pm
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truelighth
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shadow wrote: .I don't have the funds to self-publish the full deck. I will get a local printer to digitally print the imagess on sheets of cardstock so I can at least read with my own deck but to self-publish it and expect to make back the capital invested.... :gi... I can think of more important things that I can use the money for right now. I need a roof over my head more than anything else at the moment.

Maybe when the situation gets better.. who knows, eh?


That is such a pity. This is one of the decks that is on the top of my wishlist and that I am so looking forward to. I will keep my fingers crossed that a publisher will pick it up and print it. That would be really nice for you too, to have it published. Are you still gonna try for that? I can understand about the self-publishing and of course there are more important things then printing a deck. A roof seems a sensible idea, food also :?.

Anyway, I am still gonna keep my fingers crossed, because I just LOVE your work!:tt

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 Posted: Tue Jun 16th, 2009 03:50 pm
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shadow
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To be fair to Adam, I've finally decided not to self-publish until he has sold every last copy of the limited edition Diary deck. :cs but I think its the right thing to do... plus I have no means to self-publish at the moment so its quite an easy decision to make :gi

I will be starting on volume II of the Diary deck once this one is finished. A sequel to the first so... truelighth... you will be walking alongside me a long way yet, my friend. 

goldenweb wrote:
Ash, yet another amazing image. Only three more to go? You really have climbed a mountain. And whatever happens (and who knows, the whole set may well be published one day), you've achieved something unique and wonderful.   

Pen  


Thank you, Pen... I hope to see that happen one day. I think that was what drove me to finish the deck when I first started... but somewhere along the way, I gained something more precious.

I found answers to questions that eluded me for years and this process facilitated a transition that put me in touch with my own gift/bane. Getting published would be a by-product of this journey and no longer the reason for it. It sure took me a long time to realize that.

***********************************************************

7 of Cups

Once I thought it was the sight that caused me pain; but now I know it is what I thought I saw that brought me grief... so I've learned not to look at the objects of my desire for they are easily replaced by other man-made things.

Rather I've learned to ask what those objects represent to me; so that I may discover what I think I've lost.

Know you how fragile illusions are?

Illusions are like petals blushing under the carress of lustful eyes;
Look closely and you'll see webs of spider silk veins bursting with life;
But illusions cannot bear the touch of a human hand;
For our love leaves the stain of death and decay.

It was in the 9 of Cups that this finally made sense.

 

Ash



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 Posted: Wed Jun 17th, 2009 10:18 am
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truelighth
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shadow wrote: To be fair to Adam, I've finally decided not to self-publish until he has sold every last copy of the limited edition Diary deck. :cs but I think its the right thing to do... plus I have no means to self-publish at the moment so its quite an easy decision to make :gi

I will be starting on volume II of the Diary deck once this one is finished. A sequel to the first so... truelighth... you will be walking alongside me a long way yet, my friend. 



 

I understand. And that is fair. I just still hope to one day hold the Dairy in my hands :hp. Your deck just talks to me so clearly.

And I am glad I will be walking with you a while longer... looking forward to it :tt

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 Posted: Wed Jun 17th, 2009 05:29 pm
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shadow
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truelighth wrote: shadow wrote: To be fair to Adam, I've finally decided not to self-publish until he has sold every last copy of the limited edition Diary deck. :cs but I think its the right thing to do... plus I have no means to self-publish at the moment so its quite an easy decision to make :gi

I will be starting on volume II of the Diary deck once this one is finished. A sequel to the first so... truelighth... you will be walking alongside me a long way yet, my friend. 



 

I understand. And that is fair. I just still hope to one day hold the Dairy in my hands :hp. Your deck just talks to me so clearly.

And I am glad I will be walking with you a while longer... looking forward to it :tt

tell you what... let me check on the cost of the print when i get my copy done and i'll pm you. how's that sound? :bl

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 Posted: Thu Jun 18th, 2009 01:10 pm
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truelighth
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shadow wrote: tell you what... let me check on the cost of the print when i get my copy done and i'll pm you. how's that sound? :bl
Ohhh.. that sounds great! If you are sure about that, then I would love to get a copy... this is most definately one of my favorite decks already.

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 Posted: Sat Jun 20th, 2009 01:19 pm
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Shalyn
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tell you what... let me check on the cost of the print when i get my copy done and i'll pm you. how's that sound? :bl

I'd be interested in a quote, too.  I really love this deck!

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 Posted: Sat Jun 20th, 2009 02:57 pm
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Agonistes
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i really love this deck, also, and if there is a possibility of getting ahold of a copy, please add me to your PM list.  : )

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 Posted: Sun Jun 28th, 2009 05:56 pm
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shadow
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Gggyyyaaaahhhh... pressure, pressure.. running for cover.... :cl

 

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 Posted: Sun Jun 28th, 2009 06:11 pm
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shadow
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3 of Cups

Let me tell you about the artist and the musician. Both had their hearts ripped out by their beloved's treacherous kiss. 

Driven underground to hide away from the bee-sting of a 100,000 eyes, the artist threw her paint brush away the moment her muse turned his back on her. The musician met the same fate almost a decade ago and he can only offer solice through his own sad song.

And I, I am the one who watches from a distance beneath the stormy sky for I relate the story of Jahanam to an audience in cyberspace. I can only paint the picture with a pen; this is a snapshot of when true friendship is tested.

Good time friends are aplenty but the one who stays by our side during the darkest hours of our lives, they are the physician to the broken soul.

Sometimes, there is no need to offer solutions; there is no need for answers; there is no need for intellectual analysis. Just being there in silence is comfort to one who wishes not to speak.

Ash

Attachment: 3 of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 114 times)

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 Posted: Sun Jun 28th, 2009 08:03 pm
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truelighth
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Ah, what a sad card and a sad story. To lose your muse and your love. But at the same time it feels like they are finding comfort with eachother there under the bridge, the musician playing music, because that is what he loves the most. I can just imagine that. And I can imagine you would rather sit with them then watch from the distance.

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 Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 06:48 am
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sacredashes
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dearest truelighth,

i think that after all this time, you've probably come to know me well. you are right. i do wish i was there under the bridge with them.

the artist saw this image after i posted it up and she gasped. apparently, there was a photo taken of her and her muse early this year. it was taken under a bridge and the characters (her ex and her) were in the exact same position.

i've never seen that photo because she didn't show it to me. just thought that synchronocity is like poetry in motion. back to this card though, i want the 3 to show the prelude to what comes later in the suit.

in relation to the empress in the diary deck, the 3's show a struggle between nurturing and smothering. it is not the stage when one understands what unconditional love is but hard lessons form the building blocks that leads to understanding. the empress stage can and will eventually mature into the hanged one, allowing the individual to let go without expecting something in return. what is gained from the sacrifice is but a by-product. the sacrifice is not the means to an end but the end in itself.

i don't expect agreement in my interpretation of the tarot; this is merely my current understanding of a system that is way too complex for me to grasp entirely. its an on-going journey of discovery.

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 Posted: Thu Jul 2nd, 2009 05:30 pm
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victoria.star
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i admit to my ignorance regarding your deck.
is it available?

your images are amazing.
the stories are beautiful.

my broken soul is crying out to hold the cards in my hands...

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 Posted: Thu Jul 2nd, 2009 07:45 pm
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truelighth
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sacredashes wrote: dearest truelighth,

i think that after all this time, you've probably come to know me well. you are right. i do wish i was there under the bridge with them.

the artist saw this image after i posted it up and she gasped. apparently, there was a photo taken of her and her muse early this year. it was taken under a bridge and the characters (her ex and her) were in the exact same position.

i've never seen that photo because she didn't show it to me. just thought that synchronocity is like poetry in motion.



Ash, I do think that walking along side you through Jahanam for this time has given me a chance to get to know you. Your art just talks to me intuitively and just connects very much with me. Somehow I read your desire to be under the bridge in your description.

And wow, amazing how synchornicity works! To hear that your picture is just like the photo that was taken from her and her ex, in the exact position. That does make you think there is a higher purpose or force at work, doesn't it?

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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2009 03:21 pm
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shadow
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victoria.star... better late than never. dare i promise that the second round may be more fun than the first? 

what the heck... let's take this baby for a spin and then we'll know for sure :ce

truelighth... within the picture and between the lines, that's where the shadows hide... that is where you'll find me :bl

**************************************************************



10 of Cups



The Jahanamian, I think, were deeply misunderstood when I first shared their tales. They were seen as a dark and gothic lot but I am glad that some stayed long enough to see beyond the surface.


The first sign that hit me in the gut was when I drew the 4 of Swords. The Jahanamians showed me a hand reaching out from the clouds to pluck a bird from the stormy sky and the following day, a plane crashed in Phuket.... that was in 2007.  


Soon after, I drew the 4 of Wands to burn the bridge so they would leave me alone and stop the visions. I saw the Beetle King when I turned away. I watched him sit on the tree stump that is his throne and asked, "Won't you learn to accept?" No laughter from the mad jester then.. so I followed him through this dusty trail wondering where it would lead to.


The 3 of Cups, the musician and the artist are both real enough and I saw a moment in their past before it all fell apart. 


I drew the Empress, the Empreror and the Hirophant before they got caught up in a tangled mess that was sealed by the 2 of Cups; I drew the child in Imprisoned Instincts before I wrote his story and now he lives the future that was not set in stone then but is now.


Oh.. and Kalista Blackhair... the horror of her vision made me draw my psychopathic Prophet of Death so he may ferry her away but he wouldn't!!! She haunted my every waking moment until I gave her a face and then she was pacified... but I had given her only half a face and that was how she appeared before the Night Flower asking for yet another favour. To rid myself of a nightmare, I unwittingly gave the Night Flower one with only half a face... :f;


And the monk who climbed up the mountain in the 8 of Cups to finish what he started only days after I told my mother that he would... right after the 9 of cups was completed to make a wish come true.


At the end of the journey, I am still learning to cope with a gift that is both a blessing and a bane. These visions are real to me; I see them symbolically through an an alternate reality that supercedes the reality of my mundane everyday existance. I have learned to weave a story into each card so it may be deemed as fiction when it is not.


The Diary of a Broken Soul has 4 cards left; those cards will not be featured in the forum. Once upon a time, when we stumbled onto the moonlit path at marker #18, we were told that when the time came to leave this place we would be shown the way out.


Well friends, it is time... dawn is upon us. The guide is here to take us home. The shadow world will sleep while the sun shines bright outside. Do hang up your lamps on the way out... you won't be needing them where you're going and don't forget to close the door behind you. :bl 



Ash

Attachment: 10 of Cups1.jpg (Downloaded 67 times)

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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2009 04:29 pm
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rylla
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Hi Ash,

i haven't admire anyone art so much as yours in a long time...that's because I usually like strong-colored decks, different style, but you had me converted, changed my view, had me hooked up - all because of your unique style, vision, and astonishing talent ... and coming from such a nice person you are is an extra-extra bonus... (we had an exchange of emails when I bought the Diary from a Broken Soul from Adam, when I get to know you a little bit and you mentioned that you are at this forum and that was what has drown me to this forum in the first place... - lots of reward being part of it since than...)

PLEASE put me on your list as well, I don't even need a quote of the cost, not because I'm doing so well but because I'd like to have these cards not matter what...each of it is a piece of art in itself... a whole story by itself and, for me, they do read very well...

THANK YOU,

rylla

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 Posted: Mon Jul 20th, 2009 08:06 pm
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shadowdancer
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beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

I might be closing this door behind me as respectfully requested, but not the door to you and your incredible talent.  :hp

Once you have finished the 4th image, I would love to hear what your thoughts are regarding your journey as a whole, and where your next journey is likely to be taking you.

I usually go off and type for England with my thoughts regarding your images as you post them, but this one doesn't want me to do that.  It just wants me to close the door very quietly so as not to make a sound - not as much as a squeak of a hinge.  That door wouldn't make a noise anyway, so all we would be left with is the movement of air behind us.

Ash, I will be following you on your website.

take care and all the very, very best with the remainder of this incredible journey

Davina

 

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 Posted: Tue Jul 21st, 2009 10:56 am
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truelighth
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I agree with Davina. This card makes you want to just leave silently, closing the door behind you. It has a very serene feeling.

I am going to miss the Dairy, but I will make sure not to miss you and your visionary art, Ash. The journey through Jahananiam together with you is something I will treasure. Good luck with the last cards!

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 Posted: Fri Jul 24th, 2009 06:49 am
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sacredashes
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:gi tis only a goodbye.. not a fare thee well. At some point in the journey, we'll reach a plateau. To stay as we are, we invite stagnation and that is a companion that drains our willingness to take risks. I wrote in Davina's Tarot of Innocence... "What's the point in never trying? Nothing's changing anyway" by Goo Goo Dolls.

I'll be kicked out of the Broken Soul when the final 4 is finished but the Jahanamians... they have plagued me ever since I was little. It is only in the last 2 years I started paying attention to their messages since they won't leave me alone anyway.

I wrote to a girl in Finland 2 days ago... we have admired each other's artwork for a while now. She is a kick-a** photographer and I saw a photo she took of a tombstone which drew me into another world.

She has agreed to work with me, through her lenses, I would love to capture the twilight moments of the dearly departed. So I was toying with the idea...

Excerpts taken from the Diary of Forgotten Souls...

It is not that I am of the shadows that I continously seek out the shadow aspects in our lives. I'd like to think that I am drawn to all things beautiful about life; even the darkness that stand at the outer edges waiting for the moment when we may look upon it the way we would look upon the light; without fear.

Today I received 2 signs...

The first is an e-mail from my father, ever the source of encouragement and support. An excerpt taken from his e-mail.

...."> > A lady in a faded gingham dress and her
> > husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off
> > the train in Boston , and walked timidly without an
> > appointment in to the Harvard University President's
> > outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that
> > such backwoods, country hicks had no business at
> > Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in
> > Cambridge .
> > We'd like to see the president,' the man said
> > softly.
> > 'He'll be busy all day,' the secretary
> > snapped.
> > 'We'll wait,' the lady replied.
> >   
> > For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the
> > couple would finally become discouraged and
> > go away.. They didn't, and the secretary grew
> > frustrated and finally decided to disturb
> > the president, even
> > though it was a chore she always regretted.
> >     
> > 'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll
> > leave,'she said to him!
> > He sighed in exasperation and nodded.
> > Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the
> > time to spend with them, and he detested Gingham
> > dresses and Homespun suits cluttering up his outer
> > office.
> >     
> > The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted
> > to ward the couple. The lady told him, 'We had a
> > son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved
> > Harvard.. He was happy here. But about a year ago,
> > he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would
> > like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere
> > on campus.'
> > The president wasn't touched.. He
> > was shocked.
> > 'Madam,' he said, gruffly, 'we can't put up
> > a statue for every person who attended Harvard and
> > died. If we did, this place would look like
> > a cemetery.'
> >   
> > 'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We
> > don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would
> > like to give a building to Harvard.'
> >
> > The president rolled his eyes. He
> > glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then
> > exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any
> > earthly idea how much a building costs? We have
> > over seven and a half million dollars in the physical
> > buildings here at Harvard.'
> >     
> > For a moment the lady was silent.
> > The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them
> > now.
> >     
> > The lady turned to her husband and said
> > quietly, 'Is that all it costs to start a
> > university? Why don't we just start our own?'
> >
> > Her husband nodded. The
> > president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.
> >     
> > Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up
> > and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto,California
> > where they established the university that
> > bears their name, Stanford University ,a memorial to a
> > son that Harvard no longer cared about.
> >       
> > You can easily judge the character of
> > others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing
> > for them.
> >     
> > THIS IS A TRUE STORY By Malcolm
> > Forbes about the founders of the now world renowned
> > STANFORD UNIVERSITY !!
> >     
> > People will forget what you said,
> > People will forget what you
> > did.
> > But people will never forget how
> > you made them feel.
> >   
> > Life is too short for drama & petty
> > things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love truly and
> > forgive quickly.
> >


The second sign was from skad1 and the content in the PM is somewhat related to the focus of my contemplation. 

:hp The Jahanamians speak through vesssels who are unaware that they are pieces of the puzzle that appear at the right place, at the right time; its almost like divine intervention.

 shadowdancer wrote:

Once you have finished the 4th image, I would love to hear what your thoughts are regarding your journey as a whole, and where your next journey is likely to be taking you.....
Ash, I will be following you on your website.

take care and all the very, very best with the remainder of this incredible journey

Davina

 


Many of you are unaware that you were walking alongside me as I fought my way out of depression and your constant companionship has been a source of strength.. you are all Jahanamians who helped me find my way back. That is what the Diary is about.. my journal of a deeply personal and difficult time of my life.

I know there will be those who will continue to accompany me as we explore a whole new landscape; we will be guided by familiar friends we no longer fear because we already know that Jahanam is not a place of love, light and all things beautiful. It is to the dark side of the moon we tread but this place is not meant to cause us harm or grieve. Quite the opposite, ... they are merely showing us a way through the very darkness we fear back into the light... where we can appreciate the simple things in life; where we can truly see beauty and miracles that is everywhere around us.

The silver lining is ever present; if we can find it in our most desperate of times, we will find the strength to carry on. Thank you all for your well wishes. I truly appreciate it and I appreciate YOU.

This is not the end of the journey... just a rest until the Diary of a Broken Soul is completed so until then, my friends...

:ttKiss slowly, :gi laugh insanely, :ce love truly and :xforgive quickly...

 

Ash

Last edited on Fri Jul 24th, 2009 06:51 am by sacredashes

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 Posted: Sun Sep 20th, 2009 06:53 am
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shadow
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I realized I didn't have a cover picture for The Diary...:?

So I gathered the 4 main characters to take a mug shot for ol' times sake... Dajjal, Lytta, Harvester and Samiri. My guides in (as Adam so eloquently puts it...) " an allegorical landscape filled with intense experiences and inner trials."

I never told the story about the 4 of them here or in any tarot related sites. Perhaps it didn't seem relevant at the time. I started the story at the very beginning; in another place where the crowd seemed less inclined on structures or esoteric meanings. They just listened to what happened and allowed the story to flow as is...



This is how the story goes; how the first act of treachery sent order into chaos.
If we thought the first act of defiance; betrayal.. the concept of sin was exclusive to our kind, it is not. Before we spoke the first language, before we evolved into animals with conscious awareness of our surroundings.. there was Jahanam. All the travesty we thought we engineered in the history of our existance were made in someone else's footsteps.

After all is said and done, there is no turning back for them. They will play out their tragic tale to the end; each fighting to restore what they perceive as "ideal".

Morals are little more than twisted notions of purity; perfection tainted by the fallible mind; lies that cover up lies created by people whose names we can't even remember... but like them, we will fight each other to ensure our truth prevails over some other obscure truth. Then in the end; like the animals that we are, the mind will give out and the instincts will rear its ugly head and the only truth we will succumb to is that Might Is Right.

Here, the parody has been played out over milleniums... so much so that the ones who were the catalysts of the first bloodshed amongst brothers have long ago surrendered to madness.

The One-Eyed God, Dajjal who stole the elemental Earth so he may declare himself Lord over all the living things that roamed Jahanam. In an incident that later got Lytta imprisoned, the title was given to Dajjal by Lytta in mockery of the limitations of an immortal trapped in mortal skin.




Samiri; the one who then took the elemental Fire after Dajjal's treachery and became hedious. He tried to raze Jahanam to rid it of its corruption but was brought to his senses when a brethen took a fatal wound that was meant for Dajjal. The lord of the Fireflies became an elusive entity ever since; fire burning in his belly eating him inside out.




It was Lytta who then took the elemental Air and ruled over all things related to the air; including thoughts and words both spoken or written. Offended by the injustice, Lytta crept in the shadows of the night and dug out Dajal's eye. He planted the seed of madness into Dajjal; taunting him with the title of the One-Eyed-God

When summoned for questioning, he laughed maniacally.. claiming he only planted a worm under the dog's tongue. An act of madness that deserved retribution, he ensured any off-springs of Dajjal's would forever be cursed by illnesses of the mind. He continued to plague all mortals who worshipped Dajjal, causing distruption and chaos until he was hunted down by Samiri.

Unable to tie the air or trap it, Samiri weakened Lytta by burning him. Lytta was later handed over to Harvester, to ensure Lytta was kept imprisoned in water. Also refered to as the Beetle King, Lytta eventually was freed at the behest of Samiri though he still harbours grudges against Dajjal; for his pettiness over the eye and Harvester for holding him prisoner.



The Harvester would drink himself senseless if only to forget how ugly things became; Jahanam was once the home of the angels, now fallen into ruin.

He looks up from his abode and sees his brother burning high up in the sky; he tries to speak with Lytta but the wind is cold; skimming across the vastness of the land refusing to stop and say hello. He looks toward the land and though he feels pity for the One-Eyed God; he cannot forgive the catalyst who created this whole mess.

 


I have often felt their understanding and empathy as I flounder along my way; blissfully ignorant of how I was creating a mess greater than the one before :?

In the end, they have come together to help me realize that all things no matter how monumental it may seem at the time are not permanent. My 4 warriors are less than perfect and so they should be but they have tasted the bitter fruits of their mistakes.

Ah... but I had such a blessed experience with them. They make the light shine brighter.

Ash

    


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 Posted: Sun Sep 20th, 2009 09:42 am
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shadowdancer
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thanks for introducing us to the main players Ash.  It gives us a more heightened sense of context with regards the world you have invited us to step into.  Knowing their story and how they interlink with each other does fit in so well with how tarot suits are (or should be) part of one larger world.  All with potential weaknesses as well as strengths.

Also, thanks for showing us the title card.  Quite often that particular card is overlooked or given just lip service, and is rarely given enough attention to allow it to stand tall in its own right.  Ironic really. when you consider it is the first card we look at when opening a new deck.  Yours is a real exception and anyone seeing that as their first experience of your world will immediately be alerted to what is to follow.  They will not be disappointed.

Does this mean you have completed all images now?  If so, can I be the first to offer congratulations.  :ok

Davina

 

 

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